Escape from Popcorn and Beer??

Summer means two thing:

1. AWESOME and outrageous movies at the theater

2. Living outdoors and not being able to watch enough movies

How do I counteract the latter?

Answer: Revisit oldies but goodies

With that said when I do pick a movie to watch I am not just going to watch any old crap. Lets face it if it’s not in the theater then I have probably already seen it or it is total bollocks. So I have been revisiting old classics such as the Alien movies, which never lose their touch and make me think a little harder about Prometheus. Also my older man crush on Kurt Russell aka Snake Plissken has resurfaced and I have been trying to visualize how the hell Hollywood is going to regurgitate these deliciously camp movies. Escape from New York/ LA are quite possibly the cheesiest yet entertaining movies that time forgot. Seriously who else could pull off a pleather (plastic leather) jumpsuit, eye patch, and beautifully voluminous hair with such conviction and leave you wanting more.

They do NOT make movies like these anymore… yourself a favor and get some Snake Plissken in yer life!



Wanderlust (2012 Dir: David Wain, Starring: Jennifer Aniston, Paul Rudd, Justin Theroux, Malin Ackerman, and the awesome Alan Alda (if you didn’t watch M.A.S.H shame on you.)

Jennifer Aniston I kinda have a problem with you, your fluffy cotton candy rom-com movies choices have made me hate you then within a year you made Horrible Bosses and Wanderlust and I think I may have forgiven you. Just don’t go back to your old boring vanilla ways!

Paul Rudd you never strayed so you still have my respect.

All personal problems aside this movie kinda popped out of nowhere, it was released at the end of February which is basically the dumping ground for the movie industry. Probably didn’t make much money but I pissed myself laughing on several occasions.

George and Linda (Aniston/Rudd) are a married couple at a cross roads in their lives, she is a free spirit with no real direction and he is an unhappy slave to the 9-5. After George’s company goes under the couple have to swallow their pride and move to Atlanta to live with his brother who is a complete dick. On the drive to their new life they stop to rest and stumble upon Elysium an intentional community and bed and breakfast. They have the time of their life with the great unwashed hanging out with some interesting characters. You see where this is going, they decide Atlanta isn’t for them and try their hand at commune living with hilarious consequences.

Wanderlust isn’t a life changing profound movie but you will laugh and if you don’t then there might be something seriously wrong with your black black heart. Hippies are always great to poke fun at and the jokes in this movie are endless. Justin Theroux really shine as the commune’s leader, most of the supporting cast provide the butt of the jokes and their quirks are cute. The one liners really got me “Suck on that”, “Money buys nothing…..literally”, these pretty much had me doubled over laughing on a Tuesday afternoon.

Do yourself a favor and grab a Purple Haze beer (Abita brewing co) and take a trip to Elysium, you might just find me there riding a unicorn on rainbows.


Prometheus (2012 Dir: Ridley Scott, Starring: Noomi Rapace, Logan Marshall-Green, Charlize Theron, and Michael Fassbender.)

On paper Prometheus sounds like the kinda movie I would love, scientists Elizabeth and Charlie (Rapace & Marshall-Green) find cave drawings that point them to another planet millions of miles away and of course without hesitation they MUST go and say hi. Believing that the planet they are pointed too will answer all of man-kinds questions they persuade a very rich dude to invest in their mission. Similar to the previous movies the spaceship is filled with unsavory but tough characters all commanded by strong female Meredith Vickers (Theron) who by all accounts really does not need to be wearing heels in outer space….true story! Also just to spice things up they send along an android (sound familar?) in the shape of the wonderful David (Fassbender) who is chilling and creepy yet has the manners of  a butler.

Ridley Scott attempts to expand on the premise of the Alien movies, he is a genius creating the horror of isolation in outer space but most recently hasn’t ventured off planet Earth. SciFi nerds (including myself) will appreciate all the details in this movie, but may also feel like Prometheus just missed the mark a little. Is it even possible to say that a well respected and praised director tried too hard or was too ambitious?

It could have been the strong painkillers I was on (hey I’m recovering from surgery) but I felt lost and confused at a few parts. I turned to my husband and said “what the fuck is going on?” Character back-stories were incredibly vague, Meredith (Theron) has daddy issues… okay random but I can deal with it. But Elizabeth (Rapace) having problems conceiving and her flaky relationship with Charlie the other scientist was just totally out of place. While the movie was visually spectacular, with amazing effects it lacked reason behind some of the madness. But I guess this could lead to more movies and an entirely new franchise born out of a 30 something year old franchise which in itself is kind of a feat.

If you were not a fan of the Alien movies then you might not love Prometheus, shit if you were a fan you still might not love the movie. You probably will enjoy it, but like the hunger you have after eating McDonald’s you will wish you had more.

Ridley next time don’t do a 20 page spread behind the scenes 3 months before the movie is released because over-hype is a killer.

The Raven

The Raven (2012 Dir: James McTeigue, Starring: John Cusack, Luke Evans, and Alice Eve.)

Okay first of all where has John Cusack been hiding? I know he is a Twitter addict but who cares about 140 characters or less? Is he resting on his laurels? Where is that edgy charismatic actor from Say Anything, Grosse Pointe Blank, and High Fidelity? I want that guy back and I’m glad he did this movie.

The Raven is deliciously dark merging the fiction of Edgar Allen Poe and a copycat murderer. Poe instantly becomes a suspect when his stories begin to play out in real life and he turns part detective in order to save his secret sweetheart. The mystery kept the pace energetic and the whodunnit element keeps you guessing until the end. I haven’t been exposed to a lot of Edgar Allen Poe’s work probably only because I was not educated in the USA but that did not make a difference in setting the tone of the period.

The Raven was scary, not ooh ah shitting your pants scary but definitely bone chilling especially if you are claustrophobic. Excellent performances by John Cusack and the Luke Evans as the intelligent Detective Fields, the pairing of these two fine actors gave the movie more of a buddy cop movie but set in the 19th Century.

This movie popped out just before the madness of Summer and for those who stay clear of action/superheros this movie is perfect, just don’t watch it on your own in the movie theater!

Red Dawn

Red Dawn (1984 Dir: John Milius, Starring: Patrick Swayze, Charlie Sheen, Jennifer Grey, C. Thomas Howell, and Lea Thompson.)

I know this is an oldie but I have never seen it and when I read the synopsis I was intrigued to say the least. World war, invasion by the Russians and Cubans, Charlie Sheen and Patrick Swayze living in the woods. This sounds like a weekend at Charlie Sheens house in the present gone awry.

The United States has turned to shit, the Russians and Cubans have invaded and taken over. After setting up “education” camps most of the men especially those with registered guns are locked up.  Personally I wouldn’t be too bothered by an invasion as long as the respective parties brought rum and vodka. I joke of course because as soon as they start lining up men and shooting them execution style this shit gets serious and this movie is like the A-Team on crack.

Swayze and his band of not so merry men (ahem b-list brat packs) become native gorillas in the mountains. Shooting deer to eat and camouflaging themselves with trees and dirt to stay alive. Jennifer Grey and Lea Thompson are boring eye-candy who don’t do much but struggle with their matching perms. I have to say I was a little let down with the lack of skateboarding and ankle warmers but I suspect that this movie was made to be taken seriously.

I however did not take it seriously and after the excitement of the first 30 minutes wore off I began to get bored. With Winter approaching and everyone beginning to look the same I got kinda lost.

I don’t want to dwell on the negative after all the good ole U S of A always wins especially against the Ruskies.

Update – surprise there is a remake in the pipeline staring Chris Hemsworth and Josh Hutcherson so expect big guns, big explosions and still no leg warmers 😦

I’m BACK…….

Where have I been you may be asking yourself??

Well my arm didn’t work for a while and now it does, honestly it is that simple.

Working on reviews for The Raven, Red Dawn, Prometheus, Madagascar 3 (yes I watched another kiddie movie), The Avengers, and a few more.

So pull up a chair and crack a beer because it’s BLOCKBUSTER season.

The Pirates! Band Of Misfits

The Pirates! Band Of Misfits (2012 Dir: Peter Lord/Jeff Newitt, Starring: Hugh Grant, Salma Hayek, David Tennant, and Jeremy Piven.)

The Pirates! Band of Misfits is a delightful wee tale of some adorable pirates attempting to be the baddest on the high seas. Made by Aardman studios who are famous for Wallace and Gromit, Chicken Run, Shaun the Sheep, and Flushed Away. These Oscar award winning guys really know how to do claymation well, the time and detail dedicated to a full length movie has paid off yet again.

I am not a huge fan of “kiddie movies” but with the encouragement of my family I have been forced (ahem I mean gently pushed) to watch more appropriate movies. Whats wrong with taking a 4 year old to watch Saw IV, just kidding he only watched the first three. However reluctant I am to watch another all ages movie I still do and am usually pleasantly surprised.

The Pirates movie is no exception to the rule (Alpha and Omega now that was a prime example of shit.) However with Hollywood churning out family movies almost at the same speed of Tyler Perry, they don’t always adhere to the same outstanding productions (again I am talking about Alpha and Omega.)

The story involves a pirate of the year contest, attempting to rob and plunder ships and failing and bizarrely enough they meet Charles Darwin who turns out to be a bit of a scoundrel. The cast of voices is pretty impressive, it is so strange to think not too long ago animated movies were voiced by mostly unknown actors. I always have fun trying to figure out who’s famous voice belongs to each character.

Band of misfits they aren’t but the Pirates are silly yet adorable, led by a child like captain you cannot help but fall in love with their misadventures. The only thing negative I have to say about this movie is that the humor was mostly British with little quips here and there, so only people from the UK would follow. There are rumors that a sequel is possibly on the cards and I say why not, sure it was the best movie ever made but it is definitely something different from what is usually done.

If anything I respect the time and patience that goes into molding clay and moving the characters and set one frame at a time.